After two years of praying and waiting on the Lord for direction, The Cover of His Presence became a reality at the very end of 2015.  It seemed like a bursting of the gates as I realized just how much I was eager to write about and to share.  With great joy and fervor I tapped away at the keyboard well past my usual bedtime and puttered in my archaic graphics program to create Bible verse images to share as well.  I wondered why I had waited so long to take this step of faith and trust the Lord to grant success!  And then it happened…

Writer’s block.

It all came to an eerie halt.  Proverbial crickets chirping…

I scanned my journal full of notes from personal Bible study.  I scrolled through a list on my phone of ideas for future posts.  So many good options to pursue, but as excited as I was to explore and share God’s truth in real life, words failed me.  My mind was just – blank.

Nothing.

I prayed.  I stared at the screen until it blurred.  I prayed some more, stared out the window for a while, and even sunk back into my chair, staring at the ceiling.

More crickets.

So as I often do when life baffles me, I laced up my running shoes and hit the 5K trail through our community to get lost in thought and prayer.  With my ipod streaming praise songs, it didn’t take long for me to realize this was just what I needed!  When things don’t make sense, when I feel frustrated… I sense the nudge again and again to come aside and spend some time alone with the Lord.

When I run, I pray.  I often burst into His presence with chaos and commotion, unloading my scattered brain and unburdening my heart.  The Lord is so patient and so gentle.  As I run He softens me and by the time I am finished I am quiet before Him, ready to hear what He has to tell me.

Today was no different.  I even felt Him tugging me away from my usual prayer list – all good things to lift before His throne – but today He seemed to say, “just spend this time with Me… forget about any other responsibilities or expectations and just enjoy being with Me.”

So I tuned into some of those songs (like “Carry Me” by Audrey Assad and “I Can’t Do This on my own” by Plum) and paid a little closer attention to my surroundings – a gorgeous blue sky, bright sunshine, a fantastic breeze, trees, flowers and wildlife all reflecting the awesomeness of our Creator.  I especially loved watching a pelican that frequents the pond behind our house.  When I see him up close, I realize just how big he is, how expansive his wings are!  He soars so powerfully yet effortlessly.  It is truly amazing to watch.

 

Despite the beauty all around me, my thoughts drifted back to my frustrations… without much effort I came up with quite a list:  feeling stuck at the computer, not-so-lovely moments in parenting, wishing we had more couple-time in our marriage – and much bigger concerns that seem like immovable mountains as we bring them before the Lord in our daily prayer time as a family.

To make matters worse, my legs started to feel stiff and tired and I noticed a pain in my shoulder.  Just when I could have easily spiraled down into a good old pity party, the Lord spoke to my heart, “let Me carry that pain for a while… let Me move those tired legs.  I called you to come spend this time with Me, I will see you safely home again.”

I thought of my favorite pelican and how he often reminds me of an eagle soaring above, how the Lord promised to carry His people, Israel, as on eagles’ wings.  He was inviting me to do the same… collapse onto His powerful and expansive wings and let Him carry me for a while.

I bore you on eagles’ wings and brought you to Myself.  Exodus 19:4

The Lord was drawing me away from my cares and back to Himself.

“He will cover [me] with His feathers.  He will shelter [me] with His wings.  His faithful promises are [my] armor and protection.”  Psalm 91:4

He wanted me to shift my focus from those mountains to the Mountain-Mover!  He wanted me tuck away in His embrace for a while to remember just WHO. HE. IS!  To feel His presence and His tender care, to know His power, to allow His Spirit to bring His truth back to mind, knowing it is in that place that I will find rest.

Watching the pavement pass under my feet, I thought again and again, “let Me move them.”  Maybe this was about more than just my weary legs!?  Maybe the Lord was trying to tell me to collapse into Him for all of it – let Him move my blank mind to words when and how He knows they will offer the most genuine representation of His truth and bring Him the most glory… let Him move my attitudes and actions (and touch my kids’ hearts!) as I seek to love them and nurture their growth, to be a good mom… let Him move both of our hearts as we desire to invest in our marriage – and move our calendar to point us to time we can carve out for one another… and as only Creator God can, let HIM move those bigger concerns that seem like mountains.  For He is able!  For He is willing!  For His resources never run dry, His arm is never too short, His power is always abundantly sufficient!  And as Amy Carmichael says in Edges of His Ways, “He delights to meet the faith of one who looks to Him and says, “Father, you know that I cannot, but I believe YOU CAN!””

Letting the Lord do His work in His time … takes time.  It takes trust.  It takes patience.  It means ceasing from my own efforts to allow His work to be done and seen and known – as only HIS.  It is worth it!  I never want to settle for my feeble efforts when He offers His best solutions instead.

And so I keep praying… “Lord, help me to be still before You.  Help me to know that Your work within each of my frustrations is my best and only choice!  Help me to surrender each one of my cares to you again and again, knowing that You will only orchestrate what is truly best.  Help me to wait for You to move each mountain when and how I will see the most genuine representation of Your character and the most glory given to Your Name!”

A new song on my ipod offered a timely reminder that there is a challenging but equally amazing flip-side to this confidence in God’s sovereign power and delight in moving our mountains – it is the miraculous way His Spirit enables us to trust Him even when He doesn’t!

from “TRUST IN YOU” ~ by Lauren Daigle

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move

When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through

When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

 Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings

there’s not a day ahead You have not seen

So, in all things, be my Life and Breath

I want what You want Lord and nothing less

You are my strength and comfort, You are my steady hand

You are my firm foundation, the rock on which I stand

Your ways are always higher, Your plans are always good

There’s not a place where I’ll go, You’ve not already stood

 When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move

When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through

When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

Sooo… for now I wait.  I will happily tuck away with my Savior for a while where I am near enough and still enough to hear what He has to tell me, to be reminded of exactly who my God is, how His heart works, how HIS BEST is the only choice I want.  So, let those crickets chirp away as I enjoy this protected place as He covers me and carries me on His wings until He nudges my own wings back into full flight.

They who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles… Isaiah 40:31

Read more here!  –  Ephesians 3:20 – Psalm 46:1 – Isaiah 58:11 – I Kings 17:14 – Zechariah 14:16-19 – Isaiah 59:1 – 2 Corinthians 9:8 – 2 Corinthians 12:9