what do I ask of Him?

The sky is just plain grey this morning.  Not the misty, silvery grey that can be soft and beautiful and captivating.  No, this is a flat, dull, low-hung grey.  I glance up from this little kitchen nook table and scan the horizon, but the sky and water outside seem inseparable, just one solid wash of … grey.

We planned this week away at the intersection of a year just ending and a new one just beginning.  We so desperately needed this pause!  We intentionally chose an RCI swap that previous guests described as “a step back in time, dated, but clean, a beautiful natural setting, quiet and relaxing.”

We anticipated days of walking, biking, maybe canoeing, and simply enjoying a slower pace in this picturesque spot across the street from Port Charlotte Harbor.  What we didn’t anticipate was a serious dip in temperatures and these grey, low-hung skies… for days!  Although it is fun to layer up in cozy clothes and sip hot coffee and cocoa without sweating, we are struggling to plan active days outside – and the puzzles and games we brought from home are getting old.

So, on this grey morning, with the rest of our crew still snoozing, I find myself wrestling in prayer.  We only have a few days left to be tucked away from real life.  What was I hoping for this week?  What were my prayers as we looked forward to this pause?  Why, just a few days into this new year, do I feel like the sky outside… just grey, flat, dull?

My mind drifts to I Kings 3.  Just this morning, the words of the Lord to young Solomon in a dream grabbed my attention, “Ask for whatever you want Me to give to you…”  The thought was echoed again in Daily Light, this time from Luke 18 when the Lord Jesus asked a blind beggar, “What do you want Me to do for you?

Also from Daily Light this morning, “for this is God, our God, forever and ever.”  (Psalm 48:14)  This is our God.  He meets individual people right where they are.  He makes Himself real and tangible to them in ways He knows they can perceive.  And He asks them, “what do you need?  what do you long for?  I am the One who can give it to you.”

This is our God.  Forever.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  He is my God.  Maybe He knows that the grey drizzle of this morning will grab my attention more than a stunning sunrise or a gorgeous day that draws us outside into busy and active fun.  Maybe He simply longs for me to turn to Him with my dull, flat heart, so He can ask me, “what do you want Me to do for you?”

What do I ask of Him?  What should I ask of Him?

For Solomon, newly crowned king of the nation of Israel, his wish list could have been understandably long and deep.  For the blind man, only one over-riding need rose from his heart.  But in the end, both men asked the Lord for the same thing.

They asked for sight. 

They wanted to see.  One man needed physical sight, the other longed for the ability to see and understand, to have a wise and discerning heart to lead God’s people.

As a wife and mother with several other hats to wear from time to time, my own wish list could be understandably long and deep.  In my most desperate moments, there might be a single cry of my heart.  But as I step forward into this new year, it seems right and appropriate to echo the prayer of these two men.  I want to see.

For the days that lie ahead, the only vision I want is His. 

I pray for the Lord to give me His eyes.

To see each day as He has planned it.

To see His hand moving and working in those days – to join Him in His work as He shows me how.

To see what He sees in the faces I encounter every day – the random ones in passing or the ones in my own home.

To see the treasures in His Word and His will – and to be blinded to anything that would distract me or dilute the purity of His truth.

I also want to trust the Lord for what I can’t see.

When I don’t see it, don’t feel it, don’t understand it, may I trust that He will show me any next step when I need it.  May I be intentional about filling my mind and heart with His Words of truth and wisdom to meet any nagging questions or anxious concerns.  May I remember to take those concerns and needs to the only One who can meet them.

May I trust that He will faithfully meet me right where I am and say to me, “what do you ask of Me?”

I don’t know what the last few days in Port Charlotte will look like for me and my family.  But I am thankful that He knows.  Thankful that He has moments planned that will draw our eyes and hearts to Him.  And maybe, just maybe, there will still be a few sunny days of family fun before we step back into the demands of “real life.”

For today, I find myself increasingly grateful for a grey, rainy day to really pause.  To read, ponder and pray.  To feel my heart warmed and strengthened by our God who comes close to meet our needs.

And my God will supply all your need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.  ~  Philippians 4:19  

 May the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory… give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power.  ~  Ephesians 1:17-19  

open my eyes

“Open my eyes that I may see

Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;

Place in my hands the wonderful key

That shall unclasp and set me free.

Silently now I wait for Thee,

Ready my God, Thy will to see,

Open my eyes, illumine me,

Spirit Divine!”

– Clara Scott, pub.1895 –

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