A little bit of honest right here… these early school mornings are dark and my body is slow to adjust. I drag myself back from the bus stop longing for my pillow but the day marches on without mercy. The things that didn’t quite pan out the way we thought they might for this new year weigh heavier as the lack of sleep mounts.
He is so faithful to wrap a tender arm around my shoulder and draw me away from it all to my open Bible on the table by the window where the sunrise is just starting to light up the day. He says “come to Me… come feed on My Words… come aside and rest… trust Me for this day, this year… you never take a step through any of it alone… I am with you… I will help you.”
This summer was the first that I put words to a struggle I have every year. The school year with two teenagers (and coinciding bible study year for me with BSF) is full-throttle, played out in staccato – prayers lifted, provisions granted, new lessons, new questions, God moving and working in astounding ways. And we give praise!!!
And then…. It all comes to a screeching halt. As much as I love the significantly slower pace and NO alarm clock, all of a sudden I feel like I am in uncharted waters, in a ship with no rudder… and no mates! Isolated. Disconnected. Aimless. It’s like a morning of thick fog after an evening of dazzling fireworks. It is deeply beautiful in its own way, I just have to strain harder to see it.
I am more comfortable “doing” than “being,” especially being still. But I knew this “come aside time” with my Savior over the summer was crucial. So I prayed to be comfortable being uncomfortable and to trust His perfect work in this place that sometimes felt like a barren desert to me.
Over the past few months, I have become more comfortable! A sink into a cozy chair with a great Book in the quiet of lazy summer days kind of comfortable. An embracing of those empty spaces so I can be still enough to hear the Lord speak to my heart kind of comfortable. A growing confidence in “if I don’t know or don’t understand, just ASK HIM” kind of comfortable. I have filled another journal with scriptures that have suddenly popped off the page with new meaning. New thoughts, new questions, new answers.
I began to LOVE those days when the house was quiet until mid-morning and I could linger in that familiar spot by the window. Just me and Him. Just the rising sun, His Word, my thoughts, prayers… and new moments of understanding.
Summer is now behind us. School is back in full swing. And the pains of transition are taking me by storm. As much as I needed to adjust to summer’s stillness, I now find myself struggling the shift gears again!
But that is the beauty of this summer. It has an afterglow! I am still drawn to those quiet times at the table by the window – with Him. I now know I cannot live without them. I crave them. My days may be packed, but I now understand that I can’t tackle any of it well unless I carve out that time with Him as often as possible.
Time to slow down. Time to be still. Time to treasure “being” over “doing.”
For He is faithful. Day unto day He meets me right where I am. Day unto day there are new Words from Him to speak truth into my busy or quiet hours. Day unto day He longs for me to pour out my heart to Him and ask Him to fill in any gaps.
When I don’t know or understand, when I am in need – I am learning to ASK.
When I tune my eyes and ears to see all He is doing – I am pausing to GIVE PRAISE.
When I don’t quite see what He’s doing but can trust His hand moving behind the scenes – I stop to THANK HIM.
When I experience something new about who He is and how His presence steadies my heart, I simply SIT IN AWE of my Savior – and hunger for more!
“Day unto day utters speech; night unto night shows knowledge.” Psalm 19:2
As sure as the sun rises each day to greet me at the table by the window, I am reminded of my Creator and His desire for our time together – just me, with Him.
“The heavens declare the glory of God.” Psalm 19:1
“My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me,”
and my heart responds, “I am coming, Lord,”” Psalm 27:8
“O Lord, hear me as I pray; pay attention to my groaning.
Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but You.
Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord, each morning I bring my requests to You and wait expectantly.
Because of Your unfailing love, I can enter Your house and worship with deepest awe.
Lead me in the right path, O Lord… make Your path, Your way plain for me to follow.”
Psalm 5:1-3, 7-8
Read more here – Matthew 11:28 – Jeremiah 15:16 – Deuteronomy 31:6,8 – Isaiah 41:10,13