“I find myself right back there… again.

I am waiting.  I am praying.  I have longings.  My heart is heavy with burdens for loved ones I see struggling – sometimes severely.

My mind races ahead and I think I am so clever to come up with some really wonderful solutions.  But He says, “be still.”

We have deep soul wrestling, my Lord and I.  He is so gracious to receive my rants, my tears, my questions, my premature excitement about the latest, greatest plan I have dreamt up.  And He faithfully asks me again and again, “are you willing to just trust Me?”

And so, in this place of grappling which are nudges from Him and which are impatient, flesh-fueled impulses to fix and resolve – and in a season of great uncertainty and mounting questions with few answers – I opened my First 5 app* (from Proverbs 31 Ministries) to read the passage and comments for the day – from John 13. …”

“One day it will all make sense. One day we will know with certainty the ways He has been tenderly caring for us in the midst of the trial…”

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someday you will see