A few years ago, someone asked me, “why do you write?” The answer isn’t a quick, roll-off-the-tongue reply. It is good to stop and really think about why I do what I do.
I’ve said for a long time that wrestling thoughts into words helps me make sense of what touches my heart, impacts my life, and leaves me struck with wonder or wrangling a new list of questions. On more than one occasion, I’ve also commented that I only ever write something, share something, or post something because I can’t not do so.
I believe my best writing happens when the prompting from His Spirit is so strong that the words come faster than I can get them onto a page – when the LORD is the one granting me the insights, giving me words to articulate them, and the opportunity to share them in hopes that another heart may be encouraged and drawn closer to Him.
I consider it a privilege (and responsibility) to use whatever means available to me to bear witness of the reality of GOD in my life. Writing isn’t anything particularly special, it is just the avenue He has provided for me to share my own story.
Stories are AMAZING! It thrills me to see the LORD work, orchestrating intricate details to bring His purposes to fruition in ways that forever impact someone’s life with His heart and His truth. Telling His story is something I never want to stop doing!
But recently… I’ve sensed His nudge to press pause, to let it all fall quiet for a while. You see, I’ve also said many times that if I ever catch myself thinking “I need to come up with something to write,” I’ve fallen into the trap of performance, the drive to be witty or clever or to meet some real or perceived expectation that doesn’t come from the LORD. If any of that is true, it’s time to fall silent.
When I am honest, recent writing projects have felt more like “assignments.” Deadlines loom and my mind hears only crickets. My heart feels like a metal bucket clanging against the sides of an empty well. It isn’t a good feeling – certainly not a healthy one, thriving or inspired.
In the core of my being, I ache for something pure. A genuine encounter with the LORD that feels sacred and other worldly. The simple response of my heart to His Person or His Word that is not impacted by any thought of what I might write about it. With no goal in mind at all but to recognize His Presence near me and let the beauty of those moments wash over me. To hear His words of truth with fresh ears, undistracted by the swirl around me, undiluted by other voices, with the hunger to drink it in with a captivated, undivided heart.
I honestly don’t know what that might look like. But I long for it. I want to find out what might happen if I step away from my online spaces for a while and simply seek His face. Could I find space for Grace? – intentionally and unapologetically devoted time with my Savior, still and quiet, eager to receive?
This growing whisper of invitation holds my attention. The voice is quiet, not insistent. It is soft and gentle, but unwavering. His beckoning is one I don’t want to ignore, I can’t ignore.
And so, this post is a signing-off, of sorts. I’m tucking away with Him again. It feels right and good and right on time – fresh air for my busy mind, balm for my battle-weary heart. I breathe deep with expectation and exhale gratefulness.
But, I also feel confident I will be back! As He leads, I am excited to think that fresh discoveries from this time alone with Him will find words and the perfect time to share them . . . after a while.
Happy new year, friends! As I step away for a bit, I pray that you, too, will be captivated by the LORD JESUS in fresh new ways. May each of us continue to be awed by His Person, steadied by His truth, and wrapped in His love!